Cut it, and cut it, until the meaning's almost lost.
Dreams remain,
hovering.
Pain runs up my left shoulder blade
through my neck into the left throbbing side of my head
and curves over my forehead like an iron claw
until I am nearly blinded.
Take away what you don't want.
Begin.
___
Textual note: I spliced a headache (which is now gone, thanks to Ibuprofen) with remarks on editing. Some of this was taken from a BBC interview with Italian director and screenwriter Emanuele Crialese on his "ethereal masterpiece," Respiro: “When we were editing the film we started from knowing what we didn’t want,” says Crialese. “Then we took away things until we were afraid that we’d almost lose the character. It’s like a piece of rock. You cut it and cut it and cut it...”
I saw the film last night, and loved it. A school of fish forms a central imagery, though none of the online reviews I read mentioned it...
She was stunning in the part of Grazia, too.
tags: editing, Respiro.
Sheath of feeling. Words groping to touch air.
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Glad your headache is better! I find this piece very interesting in its disjoint yet related kind of way. Never seen the movie, but I do think cutting down to the essence is... essential.
ReplyDeletewhy I'm frustrated with the idea of "novels" or "feature length films" - tell your story in however long it is essential to tell it, stop to breath but not to add filler. No reason to write 186 (or 374) pages to get to the right spot for the climax. Be less predictable. Be free-er. Think of each word's value.
ReplyDeleteAll of which you know. Does the combination of creation and pharmaceutical ease the pain?
MB, more on editing coming~ over at 100 Days it struck me, when we meditate we edit our thoughts down to essence... hmmn.
ReplyDeletenarrator, I agree with you. The length of a piece should be determined by its content. As I travel the blogosphere, I find a dearth of editing, and much over writing. Still, it's better than people not writing. But the joy of reading a careful piece of writing! I've been known to swoon over a fine crafted image...
I used to suffer from headaches years ago. Last night's was most unusual... but, yes, the pharmaceuticals did work, sort of. Dulled the headache. Still threw up in the night; abdominal pains today; but all cleared by noon. So I guess it was a bug... thanks for asking...
:)