Not a trip down memory lane, but sort of. I discovered my daughter had taken these photos out of the albums we recently excavated to show her friends, and I was touched. In the process of scanning...
In 1977, at 25 years of age. Ah, the world ahead! My first relationship of 5 years that had become a marriage was ending. A late bloomer, I didn't go to university till 21; I was working on my second B.A. and getting straight A's. When I look at these photos, I think I knew more then than now.
Did we all start from a position of surity that has gradually crumbled away? Leaving an essential glimmer in the unknowingness?
You are amazingly beautiful here ... compelling. From these beginnings you have become the seasoned beauty who shares now from abundance... thank you. -mg
ReplyDeleteI think I've gotten my bearings much better as I've aged... but that has to do with centering, with balance, not with surity. I am not sure I was ever sure. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI guess the more we learn, the more we realize there is so much more to know. Beautiful pictures of you!
ReplyDeleteAw, shucks, Mary, that's nice of you to say.
ReplyDeleteMB, I'm afraid it's true, I was always right then, glad to say that's no longer true... but now I have a daughter who's always right, which is quite fabulous.
Ester, life becomes more mysterious the older I get, somehow cleared of what's not essential. Sometimes I think it's a glimmer of light in the darkness - a darkness that is itself warm and loving.
I've been thinking about this a little more. I wonder if there isn't some courage involved in this. Courage to not know everything. Sometimes we get braver with experience. I like how you speak of a glimmer of light in the darkness that is itself warm and loving.
ReplyDeletePerhaps it's my fifth decade. Such a shift went on during the past few years, it's left me not just grappling with uncertainty, but sure that I am no longer sure. I have fewer, if any, answers than ever before in my life. If that makes any sense...
ReplyDeleteMeaning, I think, MB, we are talking from different perspectives in the time it takes to live our lives.
Or it's just where I'm presently finding myself. It's not in any way an uncomfortable place.
Extraordinary and beautiful photos. I left my first marriage at 24 and was operating under my own steam truly for the first time. I remember the tremendous desire and potential of those years. I still have them, but they've transmuted with age. I'm more confident, but also more mellowed. In some ways I'm less courageous, but in other ways I'm more, I think.
ReplyDelete