(I balk at putting the word 'watch' in, and hope you, the reader, can parse it anyhow.
Okay, putting it in:
Clap of wings, a ledge. Street grey, pin black eyes watch
the pavement where I walk, or the fleeing sky, or a flock pecking bagel bits.
Without it, the missing verb appears anyhow. You should leap from the ledge to the view. No, I don't have to say imaginatively, I don't. No, no.)
_

of Stones















Love your mutterings between the 2 versions! And I like both versions! Each has its own face and personality!
ReplyDeleteYou made me laugh, Gemma! Thanks.
ReplyDelete