Videotaped Reading: Mother of Milk, 2003

Mother of Milk, 2003 from Brenda Clews on Vimeo. (It takes 10-15sec to begin.)

I recorded this reading of "Mother of Milk" in my studio in Vancouver for ARM's 'Mothering, Religion and Spirituality' Conference.

Breastfeeding my two children until they weaned themselves, a total of five years, I went from filling my time with constant doing, a consumption of time, activities, ideas, to being able to be with the vast silence of the interior stillness. In this learning of a deeper rhythm which seemingly encompassed the discordant ambiguities, difficulties, discontinuities, traumas, and irreconcilable aspects, as well as the joys and unities, of my life my spiritual understandings and practices underwent a profound metamorphosis. While I would emphasize that there are many spiritual paths, and that all are equally valid, the particular path I found myself on arose directly out of my experiences as a mother-of-milk as I subsequently explored the concept of the ‘Divine Mother’ in ancient mythologies and modern religions, through meditation in a yoga tradition, and privately before my small alter at home, so that, while still emphatically a ‘woman in process,’ my experience of a feminist, goddess-oriented, empowering way of being could be be described as an ‘embodied spirituality.’

Videotaped in Vancouver, 2003
Copyright 2003 by Brenda Clews All Rights Reserved

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This is the DVD cover.






This was a personal essay, or perhaps prosepoem of a certain point of motherhood, and I recorded it in my studio in Vancouver (where I lived at the time) for a conference on "Motherhood and Spirituality" in 2003 in Toronto. The viewing was well received. Afterwards the CD went underground, and was in at least one art show, in 2004, at the Ayer Lofts Art Gallery in Massachusetts where it was one of the features of a video evening. Oh, and the prestigious Mothers Movement Online published it as an essay around that time too, and it's still online.

With my new iMac (ok it's almost a year old, but still feels "new":-) I found I was able to save this video as a .DIVX file, shortening it from the Quicktime 1.4GB .MOV file to 172MB .DIVX while not losing clarity in the smaller screen (as happened with the .MP4 file), and, even though it's 21 minutes long, was able to upload it, not to YouTube (which has a 10 minute maximum) but to Vimeo (which has no limit on the length of a video, only a size limit of 500MGs a week).

Because of Google Sites html limitations I can only embed a teeny tiny flash player that plays the reading at my new Art & Writings Website, it's real cute!

Birth Paintings, 1986-1989

It's only taken me 10 years to do this! A slideshow. Large enough to see. A page at my Art & Writings Website. Even a price sticker. The option to order art prints is always available and preferable.


(Click on the slideshow anywhere to go to Picasa and view a 'larger show.' If you have Cooliris installed, then of course you can view at fullscreen.)

From Brenda Clews, Birth Paintings 1987-1989

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Direct Link: Birth Paintings, 1987-1989

Women In Summer, 2008, Picasa Slideshow

Women In Summer, Oil paint, watercolour pencils, India ink on Waterford watercolour paper, 72.5cm x 52cm, 28.5" x 20.5"

I've posted a slideshow of the process of this painting before, but that was a Flickr slideshow (that I could only get to run backwards, if readers at that time recall), and this is a Picasa one (which runs forward very nicely, thank you Picasa). Apparently I did not keep the larger originals when I uploaded the series to Flickr. What. Else. Is. New. Hours spent searching on various hard drives and finally downloading what I'd uploaded at Flickr, and then uploaded to Picasa with embedded copyright info in each photo for the new Art Website.

Via an inserted 'Google Spreadsheet' I can get comments at my new Google Site art & poetry site! Sweet!

From Women In Summer - the process of painting

direct link to the slideshow: Women In Summer

Women In Spring Slideshow for 'Under Construction' Art Website

Women In Spring, 2008

I've spent the last few hours locating these images between two computers, and attempting to represent the colour accurately by uploading, fiddling in Photoshop Elements, uploading... you get the idea. They are larger images than I have previously uploaded.

Hopefully in Picasa I'll figure out how to do 'individual slideshows' and then one large one since I am doing these for my new art website: https://sites.google.com/site/brendaclews/

For reasons I accept (if it's a team website the danger of images being accidentally deleted by any number of users is quite high), Google Sites does not allow you to delete images you've uploaded. So I'm going to host the images from Google's Picasa.

This painting is one of my favourites, and looks better 'in the painted flesh,' on my wall, than in the final image (perhaps I need to take a new photo of it), but I hope it imparts some joy to you.

There's a bunch of writing around it at the website on the main page.

Brenda's Art Website.

From Women In Spring - Brenda Clews

A new Art Website under construction

Creating a new art website. While it's just like the old one, it's not an easy task. I'm using a Google Sites Homepage, and its design seems for text-based rather than image-based websites. I tinker with html, of which I am only a rudimentary user. I re-do & upload photographs of paintings in Photoshop Elements until something approaching the original colour appears on-site, at least on my fabulous iMac screen- can't say for PCs, but you do only what you can do.

At least this website allows me to use textboxes (you all know how I love to write!), and to place whatever wherever.

Unfortunately, being hard-hit by the recession, I let my domain name lapse, thinking to move it eventually to Google, but some other company has snatched my name up and is using it as a portal to infernal advertising and no doubt is waiting for me to buy it back from them.

I don't care about it. Eventually no-one will click on it and they'll drop it and I can have it back again.

Never mind.

The old Tripod website is still up and a great site, but for an advertisement-based 'free' site, a 20MG limit, and I've reached it. Google's is 100MG. I'm giving myself a few months to transfer everything over, and add more work.

Anyway, enough blather, visit the constuction site here, but keep your hardhat on (images may come loose and fly). Enjoy!

Brenda's New (under construction) Art Website.

(screenshots using Apple's
"Grab" application)


I like the look, it's unique, or perhaps it's my strange aesthetic. Making a Google homepage site, though, is proving to be more difficult than any of the other web pages I've set up. It formats beautifully on my iMac, but the font is gone on a PC, and the page doesn't automatically format to fit a Netbook.

Also, because it's an application meant for a team website, once you upload an image you can never delete it, meaning you will run out of space quite quickly if you are setting up an art website.

Since I'm learning a lot, I'll continue. It may end up working out. Check it out and give me your honest feedback. Much appreciation...

xo

A solution to the image issue may be to upload the images to Picasa and embed the html at the Google sites homepage... I'll be uploading everything to Picasa anyway, for the slideshow option, and for glorious, delirious Cooliris.

(Google made images un-delete-able because these sites are often shared by a team & accidentally deleting images could be very problematic if you have a number of users. Which makes sense.)

Google Sites homepage: Art website

The Bird Who Couldn't Land

shirt, belt, thin body
cigarettes, names unknown, but known
I meet you in your dreams
the forest is blue-grey with fog, palms, fronds
in the day of being wild
I read your hand
for signs
who knows you better than yourself?

sketch from 2008 while watching Wong Kar-wai's
Days of Being Wild (1990), © Brenda Clews

It's Not A Sure Thing

Am I writing? Sigh, I'm very good at avoiding and playing instead.

This image is silly, but I was messing with ideas for a background image for yet another website, which I probably won't develop. I'm looking for something that can do what I've done at Tripod, but which is more accessible (like a site Cooliris enabled).

This one's a Google homepage, which I'd like because then I can centrally locate it, but Google has set up the basic design, it seems, for a writing-based site, not for images.

Ah well, what's wasted time on the Internet River? Things flow on, and they flow on...