Thursday, February 23, 2006

Between One & the Other

There is a moment where you're not paying attention when you melt into. Before that, self conscious effort. If the ego is how we see ourselves, we forget who we are. In the forgetting we open. Looking back, we can't say when or how it happened. Only one moment we were skin sliding on skin and in the next culminating towards orgasm; we were moving our bodies with awkward rhythm and then we were dancing without care, liquid motion, instruments of the music; we were struggling with disassembled words that wanted to flow with great pasison but couldn't and the next we were writing our opus. It's the moment of melting, where we've disappeared from ourselves, that I'm intrigued with.

3 comments:

  1. It's interesting that you describe this in terms of looking back, like a loss, a moving away from... I have always only thought of it as moving toward. Connection. The closest we can get to merging. I love those moments of dissolution-that-is-solution.

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  2. mb, sometimes in retrospect we do try to understand why something "worked." To understand when it happened would perhaps open us more fully and consciously to its happening again. I know that when I think of the moment when the "melt" might have happened, I don't have actual conscious memory of it. Just one moment I was struggling, and the next flying. When, exactly, did "take off" occur? It had to have been during a moment of utter unselfconsciousness, beyond the reach of ego, if ego may be defined as our "total self image", "how we see ourselves." We forget to "see ourselves" and the magic occurs. You write a radiantly beautiful poem; my bones turn to liquid light and I'm dancing...

    The retrospective glance, then, only to better understand how to allow that 'melt,' 'flow,' 'peak experience,' 'gestalt,' where it becomes 'effortless'...

    I've been wanting to write a piece on this for awhile and this was my first attempt, and I don't feel it's complete enough, so thank you for your feedback. As I revise and expand, I will remember the eloquence of your wisdom in your comment. xo

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  3. Oh, I understood you were analyzing. I only meant that I, personally, have never thought to analyze it from that perspective. That I am so much focused on the moving forward in that moment, that movement is what I analyze, rather than the point of departure or the how it got rolling. Thinking about it now, I do suspect that the looking forward, for me at least, is key. The desire, the readiness, the openness, the lack of focus on the self... I'd love to hear you write about this more.

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