Thursday, December 15, 2005

Master Text/MasterCard

I am dressed in a black suit, leather boots, my curls free but tamed by a conditioner. Lipstick outlines my ready smile. I answer the phone all day at a head office for MasterCard. At lunch I eat leftover tandoori curry in a vacant office and then travel in the mirrored, news-screened elevator down to a coffee shop to buy a lemon-coconut pastry. What am I doing here? The crowds of well-dressed business men and women. I am alien to this moneyed world. I walk through, carrying my pastry, watching like an anthropoligist studying strange creatures who are bulging with hidden aggession beneath cultured veneers of wool and leather, their preened and polished gleaming highlights decking the concourse like Christmas lights. It is the opposite of the third world country I come from; it is the far end of the spectrum politically for me. When I was numb after my marriage ended and couldn't be a college & university editor anymore, I started temping. What drove me into this world is unclear. Yet, alien as I feel, I am comfortable too. I know I look like everyone else. No-one would know how traitorous I am to the very world that undergirds our culture, keeping the flow of money rolling, supporting us all. Or am I? I open my Marguerite Duras library book, Two by Duras, to the words, "Don't be afraid."
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6 comments:

  1. Jean5:17 AM

    Oh, you capture this wonderfully. I so identify. You are not alone. Indeed, the weird thing is that there were certainly some others in the crowd around you also masquerading.

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  2. Richard Lawrence Cohen5:38 PM

    I've sometimes wondered who has those jobs answering phones for huge companies. I've suspected that invisibly -- beyond even the invisibility of the telephone connection -- they are gifted, thought-filled, imaginative, wild-hearted, and each unique. Now you've proven that's true.

    And like Jean's, my reaction was that many around you share your alienation. Don't most people?

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  3. e_journeys2:44 AM

    I identify strongly here, too. I started temping in the 70s and it truly was like taking an anthropological field trip. I was a wandering nomad of the offices, stepping into different company cultures. Even in my last "permanent" job, in which I spent 12-1/2 years (and for which I now work from the outside as a consultant) I found many folks who had Lives Outside the Company -- as artists, musicians, writers, etc. We are everywhere....

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  4. Brenda Clews9:10 AM

    Jean, masquerading is neat word, concept, and the perfect way to put it, so perfect that after I read your comment many ideas on masquerading drifted through my mind on & off all day... I'm still reading that Donniger book, "The Woman Who Pretended to Be Who She Was"... and identities, how we fashion ourselves, what appearance of ourselves we are projecting, all fascinating. Thank you... xo

    Richard, now how come you're so sweet? That is the sweetest list of attributes, don't know if it fits me, but quite, quite beautiful.

    And, yes, we are all aliens in some way or other. And that's something to ponder too... :) xo

    e_journeys, oh, a fellow "nomad of the offices, stepping into different company cultures"! I temped all over Burnaby and Vancouver, so many, many offices, and had a perspective on the people in that city that was, surely, unique. I have met some wonderful people, and some who aren't. There was someone who wanted me to write about every job I did because the floral and fauna was so fascinating, but I never did. So, 12 1/2 years huh. I'm never anywhere long enough to get bored. What kind of work? Thanks for dropping by, I can see we have a fair bit to share! xo

    Though, no, I don't want to stay in the world of temping... I enjoy tutoring, I've a student in Gr 2 and one in Community College; I should look for work as an editor again; and I am thinking of applying to York next year in Education, we'll see...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Richard Lawrence Cohen3:41 PM

    On the basis of your blog only: Gifted -- check. Thought-filled -- check. Imaginative -- check. Wild-hearted -- don't know you well enough, but your journeys speak for this. Unique -- of course, like everyone. So there.

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  6. Brenda Clews1:37 PM

    Richard, lol! You're a doll! Clarissa Pinkola Estes, in Women Who Run with the Wolves, writes on how hard it is for us to accept compliments. The book is in storage so I can't quote her directly. But she says something about letting the compliment nourish and inspire us. As I attempt to do this, many thanks to you, my wild-hearted friend. :) *hugs xo

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