Moments of Decision...

...I wish I knew the point at which one can definably say... I mean there is a moment where the bulk of the direction of something has reached critical mass and cannot be held back and flows over... and in the flowing over, there is a definable something to say, a concrete fact, it is going in this direction, this is the decision made, this is what is happening now... always before the movement towards is the setting of plans, an openness or closure to, a way to slide the events in a certain direction... what is it that decides what direction something will flow in but your decisions about directions... most of life seems to work this way, at least it does for me... it's all various energy patterns, flowing and interweaving, creating and subsiding, connecting and sliding through and disconnecting and drawing back from... like a vast dynamic tableaux, a web of points of singularity all flickering and creating lines between each other according to a complex dance created by each point of singularity, each consciousness deciding its direction within the parameters and variables that are viable... choices constantly being made, from the time we rise to the time we sleep... holding patterns, keeping ourselves together, making crossings, living on thresholds... and always motivated by deep inner inclinations that move like underwater currents directing things to crash and break on the rocks or lap gently upon the sandy beaches... sometimes we float along on the same trajectory without change and other times we radically switch directions... sometimes we are forced, by the general field of connections, or lack of them, to make choices we don't want to make... and this is where I am.

Sorry to be so mysterious, but a riptide is sweeping through my life...