NaPoWriMo, Day 1: Lawrence on Love

An extraordinary passage in D.H. Lawrence's Women in Love, between the characters, Ursula Brangwen and Rupert Birkin, who fall in love (though I am only on chapter 15 so don't know the outcome). When Ursula visits him alone, he explains his position.

Birkin says, "If we are going to make a relationship, even of friendship, there must be something final and infallible about it." He continues:

'I can't say it is love I have to offer--and it isn't love I want. It is something much more impersonal and harder--and rarer.'
There was a silence, out of which she said:
‘You mean you don’t love me?’
She suffered furiously, saying that.
‘Yes, if you like to put it like that. Though perhaps that isn’t true. I don’t know. At any rate, I don’t feel the emotion of love for you—no, and I don’t want to. Because it gives out in the last issues.’
‘Love gives out in the last issues?’ she asked, feeling numb to the lips.
‘Yes, it does. At the very last, one is alone, beyond the influence of love. There is a real impersonal me, that is beyond love, beyond any emotional relationship. So it is with you. But we want to delude ourselves that love is the root. It isn’t. It is only the branches. The root is beyond love, a naked kind of isolation, an isolated me, that does NOT meet and mingle, and never can.’
She watched him with wide, troubled eyes. His face was incandescent in its abstract earnestness.
‘And you mean you can’t love?’ she asked, in trepidation.
‘Yes, if you like. I have loved. But there is a beyond, where there is not love.’
She could not submit to this. She felt it swooning over her. But she could not submit.
‘But how do you know—if you have never REALLY loved?’ she asked.
‘It is true, what I say; there is a beyond, in you, in me, which is further than love, beyond the scope, as stars are beyond the scope of vision, some of them.’
‘Then there is no love,’ cried Ursula.
‘Ultimately, no, there is something else. But, ultimately, there IS no love.’

[Project Gutenberg, an on-line eBook, url to the page where this passage begins.]

Yes, I understand this. In meditation, I, too, have discovered what Lawrence writes about. But can I write about the void that is beyond love? Even a few lines will do - only a draft and a re-entry into my Venus Manuscript.


We can love only when we are emptied of ourselves. When we have given ourselves to the other.

In the depths of this giving, profound, scary, unsettling, is a union beyond self, ego, personhood, the particular state of time and space in the here and now that we are.

If we enter this spiritual state of being, dependent as it is on the erotic, on the sexual forces of attraction, desire and excitement, melt into the beyondness of the orgasmic moment, and allow it to be a portal where we can spin, tilt, go deeper into the mystery, letting ourselves dissolve, even to the point of extinction, giving ourselves over to the enigma, then, yes.

There remains something alone in each of us even in the union of love, and there is a "beyond, in you, in me, which is further than love."


And I apologize, this is as far as I can go tonight. Tomorrow images may emerge to give flesh to these thoughts; who knows.

                                          

Na(tional)Po(etry)Wri(ting)Mo(nth)

While I've written some novellas during NaNoWriMo, and wrote a script once during April's script writing frenzy, I haven't tried the poem-a-day gauntlet of NaPoWriMo.

Because poetry is so much harder? Perhaps. And because it's a public writing - the others were private unless you wanted to post, and at the end you sent in your mms. for a word count. NaPoWriMo isn't like that. NaPoWriMo is less centralized, for a start. There are many different organizing sites participating. And they all offer 'prompts.'

This is where I run into trouble. I don't need 'prompts.' I have too many unfinished projects on the go as it is. What I need is focused finishing power. What I need is a NaPoWriMo site that exists solely to help poets focus on longer projects, of their own choosing.

This morning I searched for such a site, without success.

Many of the prompts I saw seemed more appropriate to writing skits - funny, clever, cute. But nowhere did I see any prompts that attempted the ineffable - to help the poet elicit the deeper poetry within. I can't imagine Paul Celan, or Rilke writing on any of the prompts I saw.

Why isn't there a site where you can march to your own drums but together with other similarly idiosyncratic eccentric poets?

NaPoWriMo isn't anything like the novel writing month, or the script writing one.

Are poets secretly autocrats? I began to wonder during my search for a community to join for the coming month.

How come there's no invitation anywhere to simply write what you want to write? There must be, somewhere. And perhaps I'll discover it, or someone will point me in the right direction.

In the mean time, I have decided to go ahead, valiantly, willy nilly, and write a poem a day. If my writing seems to co-incide with a prompt at one of the sites I've looked at, I'll enter it for that round. Otherwise, I'm beating my drum in my own jungle of words alone.

I'll label each of these posts NaPoWriMo 2011.

And I am diving back into my stalled manuscript of Venus Poems.

Found the mms. in my Google Docs tonight, browsed it, groaning. Still, continue...

I am currently listening to a wonderful recording of D. H. Lawrence's Women in Love by Ruth Golding that I downloaded from LibriVox (all the readings, of public domain books, by volunteers, and free to download, a rich site of many delights). Lawrence was so articulate about love. Life, the flowers of death, the mystic universe, limits of love, and the forces, and what is deeper than all of these. Do such intellectual lovers still exist?

Lawrence's meditations on love as voiced through his character Gerald in Women in Love is a good place to start on my way back into my manuscript on love.

Hopefully, I'll have something written before midnight!

                                          

Dance of Gold Canvas

direct link: Dance of Gold Canvas

A performance piece, hints of the epic, the metamorphosis that life is. Age and grace. Frivolity and art. Pain and laughter. Humor and seriousness.

In the dance I speak a poetry whose volume I dimmed to just below audible. A poetry below the threshold.

And of this nearly silenced subliminal speaking? It's part of the motion poem. A tantra. Dance, the journey of the soul, guttural, the women crying for help during the tsunami, women in war, survival, a Blakean crawl across the canvas at one point and I allowed some words to rise, utterances, Butoh not in style but expression perhaps in parts, and of strength, empowerment, and the fecund, the buds of spring about to burst, Boticelli's Primavera, the rich earthy tapestries of the natural world, and Zen, laughter at the absurdity of life, and love, love everywhere, enjoyment in the body itself, sensuality, a wit, humour. Dancing with shadows of the self was intriguing in the editing, as was slipping between colours of a rich Buddha saffron and the smudging shadows of black and white. Editing itself a psychic process, shaping a moving poem.

How a video comes to be is almost surreal. Magic in the editing. I enter a state where time doesn't matter and think it closest to the dream, the mind's most deeply creative process, where you're exploring something, and you're not quite sure what it means, or where it's going, but are fascinated, compelled.

A dance poem, an enactment, a one-act play. Perhaps in this piece something visionary, in that there is resolution to the conflict, the paradoxes, in the process of art itself, in the dance of the self.

Self-conscious but daring to anyhow, give everything you've got.

The dance of the self within Krishna's cosmic dance, the spinning painting of us on the canvas, the dance we all share.



Performed, videoed and edited by Brenda Clews.

Background music by arnoldsrecords, 'There's a hole, there's a wall.'

-
Without memory, the fragile present disappears.

blog: Rubies in Crystal
art and writings: brendaclews.com
Starfire, an album of poetry performance pieces
(listen, download for free)

                                          

Videopoem Contest at Moving Poems

A site on the forefront of multi-media poetry today, Moving Poems, is having a videopoem contest. Dave writes, "I thought it would be fun to have a contest where everyone would use the same poem in its entirety, either in the soundtrack or as text (or both)." The poem, "Fable," by Howie Good is short but full with metaphoric possibility. The deadline is April 15th; there is no limit to the number of times you can submit entries. Do submit. Details: Moving Poem's First Videopoem Contest.