Perhaps there were different ways of understanding, parallel paths of interpretation and it was impossible to pick which was more real.
First one, and then the other seemed likely.But, no, it was more like a kaleidoscope of turbulent thoughts and chaotic feelings.
Perhaps they were lassos you were flinging from each hand, sometimes they swung wildly divergently, sometimes they entangled.The problem was there was no strategy, or even a map of where we were.
Or probably you didn't swing anything and the parallel ways of understanding were the metaphor I was most comfortable with.Or when I lay at the beach on the hot day imagining Ferris wheels of kaleidoscopes where everything impinged on everything else.
I couldn't decide, on the long walk grocery shopping that day which path more accurately represented your feelings, or mine, or what happened.
It was an embarrassing situation from which you fled. Discovery of the truth was the last thing you wanted.
Nothing made sense.But what was the truth?
What is truth?Parallel paths; I can't decide which.
Rather, multiple lines like tangled tackle.One interpretation, the cavalier one, you'd prefer; the other a deeper more vulnerable one you'd prefer hidden.
I can't live in your heart to know definitively. I imagine you yourself don't fully know either. We're hanging somewhere between spiritual truth and illusion. The illusion you'd rather cast hides what?
Probably it was the more hidden truth and it held a power over you that disturbed you greatly because to follow that path would change your perception of freedom irrevocably.
so often when i read your words i imagine a woman who is still in the throes of letting go, who is trying to understand why it is necessary, who is nursing a heart filled with pain. i can't ever decide if it is a recent loss or one long ago, but my heart always understands the conflict and hopes for peace.
ReplyDeleteSky, your perceptions are, as ever, correct. It is amazing how clear seeing you are. It is a fairly recent situation meaning in the last few years that just in the past few days once again reopened. And it looks like I have to shut it away again, though that could shift of course. This writing was from a month ago - just browsing my notebook to see what might be 'postable,' you know how it is. At the time I thought it too abstract to post, but now it seems prescient.
ReplyDeleteMany thanks for your perceptive and beautiful comment, dear Sky. xo