Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Remember the Night...

.......................................When, you,
without closure, engulfed me?

.....When I disappeared into your vastness,
became lost in you, lost 'I'?

..... Everywhere you touched, mountains,
valleys, plains, even the ocean in me,
parted, shook, opened.

..... Do you remember how we,
two sighs enfolded in each other?

..... Breath of love. I speak of romance tonight;
forgive me, Monsieur. Afterwards,
we did not speak of it.

..... On the surface of the water that resists
before you fall in, that edge of sweetness.

..... Mon amour, now it is like sitting in a darkened room
with a screen of scenes before us, our hands close,
but not touching.

..... You are so far away.

7 comments:

  1. Brenda, this is exquisite and painful.

    ...even the ocean in me / parted, shook, opened.
    On the surface of the water that resists / before you fall in, that edge of sweetness.
    Beautifully expressed.

    You are so far away.
    Oh. Yes.

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  2. Oh, Twoberry, you make me laugh! You are so giddy with life, it's marvelous. Yes, I sure am glad I didn't become a nun (yes, as a child, in the few years I attended a girl's Catholic school at convent, entirely run by Nuns, yes, I thought... :-) Sure am glad there is sex.

    MB, thank you. The Monsieur, a 'figure' in my recent writing isn't actually a specific person, though as a 'character,' if invisible, he is becoming more real. He's a combination of many men and an imagined one...

    At first I wasn't sure who he was or why I was writing to him; but now that I see we have shared intimacy, I'm becoming more interested...

    Is this what our characters do to us?

    Yes, I have been in those places in love.

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  3. From here... "when, you,
    without closure, engulfed me?"
    and on, brilliant, thrilling, exciting. I am always amazed by the way your words flow, pour, rain down on me.

    "Breath of love" indeed.

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  4. Anonymous10:31 PM

    Amazing

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  5. Why, anonymous, thank you! :-)

    Narrator, I tried so many different titles, and finally just took the first line, but see you are right... the formatting didn't work either, since I wanted the first line of each stanza indented, but, ah, well. So, thank you, for the editorial suggestion, and for such wonderful feedback, 'flow, pour, rain,' this is a breath of poetry.

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  6. This is one of my favorites by you. I tend to always love the fabric of your writing, the textures and smells and things, but I feel in tune with everything this poem is saying. You wrote it perfectly, but I have a little sly smile about Monsieur engulfing "you" and think physically, naughtily, about the narrator engulfing the sir. :-) I still read you here a bit, but I've cut down on my reading of most people this season. There's too much richness and i'm in a sort of valley here. It's all good and all at my own pace. Everyone has her ebbs and flows. Love to you!

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  7. Anonymous1:37 AM

    This piece so poignantly enraptures the heart of the shadows and light between two lovers~it leaves one utterly captivated by the emotion felt and written.

    Again, Captivating~~

    Blessings~

    ReplyDelete

A Pulsing Imagination - Ray Clews' Paintings

A video of some of my late brother Ray's paintings and poems I wrote for them. Direct link: https://youtu.be/V8iZyORoU9E ___