Dear Reader, I need not tell you what an unexpected afternoon of delight he had. We shall discover the details, for I am as curious as you, and after all this is a book of erotic fiction.
Though, dear reader, you understand that I but partially write the story of these characters. My idea had been for Ambra to discover his innocence and for he and her to spend a delightful night together as she indoctrinated him in the arts of love. Then I could have written of deep emotional love, of indissoluable bonding, and thereby written of the poetry of their souls.
But Ambra, on the brink of being written into the text as the woman who deflowered him, decided to meet with her rich lover and disappear.
I was surprised as you, dear reader, by her quick and complete exit.
It doesn't look like she's coming back either. I'm not sure where she's gone, or what happened to her. In this regard I, though the author, am as 'in the dark' as you, the reader.
Never mind. The story continues. It appears to be, more-or-less, writing itself. I have found any planning I do for what may happen next goes for naught. The characters have other ideas.
I'm learning in my daily life to forget that I am writing a novella since nothing I decide in terms of direction or character development happens that way.
Rather, it is as if the text decides its own direction moment to moment.
Things develop logically out of other things, but what happens to characters seems based on the inner logic of the story rather than my control of it.
Hence I shall relate Mœdello's afternoon at the Bordello, though you understand I, too, am entering the Bordello along with him; this writing has not been thought-through beforehand, there are no notes, or plot outlines, or even overall moral for the story.
Everything in this story is created in the moment.
Though I have unsuccessfully tried, no premeditated directions of any kind have been permitted by the writing itself. I sit before my computer, or my legs stretched out on the couch or bed, touch typing.
The writing tells its own tale.
No, I'm not "chaneling." Such a ludicrous notion!
It surprises me, what goes on in the subdued buried populations of my mind, where these characters roam close to a wild abandon to the senses, racous, on the edge of social decency. They are like dreams called forth through the act of writing without prescribed notions of what is to happen, or not happen.
What unfolds through these pages might embarrass me, but dreams are like that.
ramos dos sonhos, 2008
