bon vivant dog walk, melting neighbourhood, passersby smiling at each other, slushy lakes sloshed through joyfully in waterproof boots
bruised tailbone is sore, but it's okay and the point is not to focus on it, not on such an afternoon of thick blue presided over by a winter sun
spoke to my son by phone and he seems to be recuperating, says he feels physically alright although perhaps not quite so emotionally but things are fine
I'll see him during the week, when we can talk more
Sheath of feeling. Words groping to touch air.
Woman with Flowers 7.1
(7th sketch in series, first iteration of this one) Woman with Flowers Flowers, props upholding the woman. The flowers, fragrant, imaginar...
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The Buddha says: “ You cannot travel the path until you have become the path itself .” The path is uncertain. Uncertainty is the guiding for...
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direct link: Tones of Noir music: Alex Bailey, ' Piano Improvisation No 7 .' Do poems wait to be born? A poem whittled out of t... -
What if relationships are the primary ordering principle? What if the way relationships are ordered clarify, explain, and instruct us on th...
still sending good wishes to adrian and glad he is feeling physically better. is he already in rehab or still at his father's home?
ReplyDeleteisn't it interesting how in retrospect we see things quite differently as you mention in the previous post? so often there is an expansive field of vision when looking back....so often i wish it were there when i face issues initially!
He's doing a 21 day rehab this month or next. He's continuing to work here in Toronto, traveling back & forth for now. He will be staying with me, though he also worries about how easily he can come & go & procure 'stuff' without anyone knowing. His father's girlfriend will not allow him to live in his father's 'home' (it's actually hers). Hence the 6-month idea & half-way houses after that (what an awful life they had projected for him, it makes me shudder). I am so very glad that is not going to happen. That's probably due to my son's refusal to go that route. Personally I'd never ever get into a relationship where my children weren't welcome, but I have a different philosophy of parenting I guess. And I figure if my son moved into his own place he'd have to deal with his 'addictions' without anyone around at all, at least here he has me and his sister. So my approach is to offer unconditional support, a home if he needs, and try to build a relationship of enough trust that he can tell me when he's sliding off the edge again. I've been reading on addictions, and wow, I had no idea that these things actually change brain chemistry and that one is always at risk of a relapse no matter how many 'clean' years there may be (which is why short or long-term rehab is mostly ineffective). After a certain point, it no longer becomes a case of removal from access to the substances, because that does nothing to the underlying desire (as I know from my experiences with the girlfriend's son, who, with his behaviour when he stays here, is clearly still 'addicted' though he's done rehab & all that), but perhaps the reawakening of will itself, and rebellion against the devastating effects of these addictions on your mind, your body, your life and those who love you. The pleasure circuits of the brain are a force to be reckoned with, indeed, but there yet remains a moral choice that seems overlooked in the literature and opinions of various 'experts' on addictions. Even if one has to make the choice a thousand times a minute during an emotionally difficult time, it is still yours to make. Self-empowerment, surely this means something in the end. Addicted to life. Master of oneself. All this is possible, I know it is.
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