My beloved doggy passed away some weeks ago...

What it is, why I haven't blogged in so long, is that my doggy, Keesha, passed away. On September 12th. I planned to do a memorial post on her but am seriously too grief-stricken to manage it. I had no idea that 15 intense dog years, including nursing her for about 11 months, could leave me so bereft. I've stopped howling in the morning when I get up because she is not there to take out, crying when I am having a roast beef sandwich because she isn't begging for some too. Sleep is returning sporadically. It is insane how much I miss her. I try to remember to fill her water bowl every day - for my little cat, Aria, who misses her doggy, I know it. I am trying to do 'our walk' when I haven't walked anywhere else and walking those streets, those blocks with all the memories I have remains hugely painful. Who'd think the love between a human and an animal could be so strong, or so difficult when death comes.

This is the last drawing I did of her... hours before she passed peacefully away in my arms.

This is the drawing I speak to often... yes, it's somewhat distorted, not 'anatomically correct' yet, for me, it is her. When I put my chin on that nose, and look into the eyes, she is there.

Canada Day, July 1, 2014 - she had had such a terribly difficult night the night before that family had gathered to say good-bye... but the next day, here, July 1st, she was almost like her young self again, happy, energetic, playful, for at least that quarter of an hour in the park... she lived another 2 1/2 months because of love, because of love, I am sure.

My shrine of drawings of her last days. That is my son, drawn the night she died.

Her 15th birthday on August 25th

Keesha's birthday cookies being inspected by her kitty, Aria

This photo is still my iPhone wallpaper.

Nov 2012

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