Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Capture

I am most comfortable if you are lovingly diffident, sweet but often absent; yet I desperately need your ardour.

If you discard me, or appear to, for you never actually do, I am comfortable; if you don't, I panic, sending dozens of invisible arrows to scare you off, so you will shy away. My mixed messages, subliminal. No, I do not always do this knowingly. I'd like to stop, if only I knew how.

For me to be still, and not flee in every other thought, and be your woman is most difficult, even if I am perhaps your woman.

Capture terrifes me.

Like conventional relationships.

Love that is richly fantasized, and remains. Approaching but never arriving. Hidden in each other's lives. Intimacy, this dance of closeness. Which can't settle.
Can we roam through each other's hearts
like oceanic tides?

3 comments:

  1. Oceanic tides must sometimes contend with rogue waves....
    Allowing oneself to be vulnerable can be a terrifying step.

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  2. Hmnnn... commitment. I have lots of commitment in my life - my children, art, loving each day. And I am a fierce and loyal friend. Sharing my day-to-day life in a live-together situation, no, I can't see that being possible for me on any level presently. And, anyway, I flee whenever something like that might be a possibility. It's either phobic, or really wise. Given... the emotional configurations. Oh, this is such a difficult question, twoberry, and e_journeys! Not everyone can fit easily into a twosome, perhaps... or perhaps it's a fear of vulnerability and commitment. Arghhhhh...! Love you guys! xo

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A Pulsing Imagination - Ray Clews' Paintings

A video of some of my late brother Ray's paintings and poems I wrote for them. Direct link: https://youtu.be/V8iZyORoU9E ___